thoughts pouring out

this whole love thing is a topsy turvy with ups and downs 'yes' and 'no' and worst of all 'i dont know' and 'maybe'. sometimes i feel what kate perry was singing about in hot n cold. i was quick earlier to pop the bottle of joy and relief only to be put back in the dark corner again. we know what we want but people come in throwing ideas that set us back in doubt and yet we still get back so why are we still prone to this gun shot? its killing us ...or maybe is it making us stronger? i hope we do get together and get serious with this relationship. one would ask,
arent you together?
well not really because he is still making up his mind. it is made then changes with the thoughts and i dont know when this is going to end. i cant wait to do the fun things we can get to do as friends or people relating but then there are things still holding us back. family and some friends and worst of all our PAST. i wonder when faith will start kicking in because we can not have the assurance of physical promises to give us something to hold on to. and yet again may be i should not get my self entagled be fore am fuly disentangled from the past...
am clearly getting no where with this it is just opening up more bottomless topics that will go on and on so let me sstop here i guess you would call it thoughts of the moment...

just coz i say so