Friends and Frienemies

I work in a relational environment. Here people mind the other person's business. Both in the good and bad ways. It also happens to be the same place where JN works so we are a well known couple in the organization. Now that it is a week till he returns, everyone (some with good and others with bad intentions) is teasing me and watching me as the excited other half who was left behind.

I know some are jealous that JN's team comes back earlier than the usual teams that go out. But well that's their tough luck. One thing I have learnt and grown up to deal with is gossip and the knowledge that not everyone who smiles at you wishes you well. I work with so many people as we are the Communication Department and so all messages advertised and events go through our office and in the process i work with so many people frequently we become work friends. And some things like your relationship status come up. Since it is something am proud of am not afraid to share the basic stuff of how we met.

Later word comes to me (probably from the grape vine or a conversation) about a twisted version or how they wonder when you would be breaking up. At first, it used to nag me, but then I decided that those are unhappy people who have nothing to do with their lives but bad mouth other's happiness. So i rose above that. Am sure that I will not be shaken and now if the news is not from the source then I wont believe it.

So do I have friends they are few and they are my real friends. There is o one else i call friend apart from a chosen few. They are less than 10 but they have been the best ever. Honestly i would rather have non than a whole bunch of unreal "friends". Dont get me wrong am not perfect either but these few made the cut for me. I can be myself, my true self not afraid that two days later some one down the street will be knowing my business.

what are your thoughts?

Just Coz I Say So

And He Came Through

Today was one of those hard days when you just need particular people to talk to. And as life would have it everyone was too busy or not available to here me out or go out for anything.

It became so bad i even called JN in the Uk but he too was also busy. I was like

"why is there no one to listen to me?!"

That is when the answer came in a small quiet gentle voice

"What about me?" it says. And without saying a word I just turned to my office computer, opened my devotions. At then end of it all I was at peace, and feeling so much better. i went back home and slept till late morning.

This time I was not lonely, my God had my back and he came through for me as he always does. I will not take these moments for granted.

Just Coz I Say So

While He Was Away

The funniest things happen when you least expected. Well to me its funny because i view life from an angle that looks at the root rather than the surface and its always funny and interesting what you find. Then also the odd times somethings tend to happen when its the last thing you want to deal with.

You know when you have had a fight or at a rocky place with your partner and that’s when a crush or a cute guy or even an old flame happen to come by showing you attention, affection and tempting you to chill with them rather than work on your relationship. Its funny how such times happen when you are not on good terms and the temptation to listen and give in is there.

Well these three months have been a true testimony to how to stay faithful to the man you love no matter what comes your way. Ok so I count myself blessed to have found a high placed job (in my field of work) given to me even before I finished Uni. I have had the chance to be a Producer of a production house that for now only serves the Church that I belong to. It is an in house production department with in our church. People my age are right now being assistants to the assistant or something of the sort and I am straight up in the ranks (I am saying this with a humble heart not boast, just a testimony to where God can take you).

Anyway I believe that God had me in this hectic position (trust me its no piece of cake) for a time as this. I have had long hard days put into my work as well as learnt and met some very interesting things and people respectively. This is what I meant in my earlier post about God keeping my hands constructive. This position has pushed me to the edge and showed me that I can do more than I think I can. I will not deny I have grown up as a person, producer and boss to those that I manage.

So back to the beginning, of how these weird balls life throws at me once in a while to see if I am stable in where I am standing. In the midst of this whole working experience, I have complained about the lots of work and how busy I am for my life. Only to look back and thank God for the busy time because an idle mind is the devil’s workshop and that is so true.

I will recount today’s experience into play so as to make sense in what I am writing about. First you should know that am at a busy season in my department and the whole Church as a whole as we come closer to the Christmas season. I am booked to my eyeballs in shoots and today I had a fun one mainly because the people who we were filming were cool people who did not make me hustle or have to call out many takes till the sun sets. Anyway, we are in the middle of the shoot and I get a phone call from an ex-boyfriend. I really needed to concentrate and do the shoot well because it was a bit of a delicate nature. There were some parts we could not capture after they were done in the first take. So this call comes in and thank God I ignored it. Later when he called again and I was able to pick up, I asked him what he was calling for and he says that he was just bored and wanted someone to talk to for fun. I hang up thanking God for not having my time wasted. So what am I trying to sell home?

Let me put it in this context, all these people who cheat or find themselves committing a crime or something don’t do it just out of the blue. It is just something that is built up in them by small incidents that eventually birth into action, Now in my case, if I had the time to flirt and talk to this guy because I was idle, it would lead to more time together like spending time with him. In the absence of the main man, ladies and gentlemen that would be creating room for disaster. These thing start slowly by slowly. One little action followed by the other and before you know it, you find yourself attracted and more inclined to this person’s company than that of your partner. The more time you invest in any relationship or friendship, the stronger it grows.

Not to be all holy or perfect but I have not given any other guy the time of day to entertain or keep me company all of these months while my darling was away. How is that possible? Simple, manage your surroundings or get involved in something that keeps you busy enough not to have time to entertain the thought of messing around. Another bonus it gives is when JN calls I am so excited and honestly happy he thought of me or he has taken time out of his already hectic schedule pay some attention from some of his already little time. In a way it keeps the fire burning in the relationship because you have not let any other wind blow down your fire.

Gladly God kept me busy and I was not and am still not able to entertain any outside interests and to me I would prefer no other way to do so. Lastly, I receive a work schedule that shows I have some days of shooting and spending time with the team JN (Yay!). My workmates are teasing me nonstop saying I will not concentrate since there is a “major” distraction. Maybe they are half right hahaha but then personally it would be a welcomed distraction.

9 days to go

Just Coz I Say So

The Countdown Begins

These last days of temporary loneliness now come closer to an end. Yes JN has been away on a world tour for the past three months and they are to return home for the Christmas break before they continue on their second leg of the tour. This has been the first time we have been separated for this long and I am glad to say that we have pulled through stronger and better than we thought. It was difficult to fathom him being away from me that long because we spent so much time together. The thought of him leaving left me asking myself "What am I going to do with all this time?"

I am here to say that God really sorted me out. I have been constructively occupied and that only kept my hands busy but then I thought about him always and that's where the beauty of the internet comes in. I may also add that my work place made it better. I work on a Mac computer (Yay!)so life was made easier. I got to send video messages and photos as i update him on what is happening and also vice versa. I know when we meet up on his return they will be something to laugh at and cherish.

This was also helpful during those times when they were in a location without internet. Always going back to the videos and e-mails was consoling enough to get you moving to get through the day when I had not heard from him that day or sometimes days.

Oh it has not really been a smooth wait. There were those days when JN was the only person you wanted to talk to and be there to listen. Or when there was a new place to go to or something that would be fun to do and he wasn't there.

Recently, they went to Europe and JN got a sim card and we were able to communicate via phone. Oh that was the best thing ever. I would say it kick started the countdown with a fresh fire. Just knowing he is a call or text away, made it feel like he was just another town nearby.

I could not emphasize this more, communication is like a fan to keep the fire burning, without which no real relationship can last for sure. I know this first hand. Communication can turn miles apart into minutes away.

So here goes...10days to GO!

Just Coz I Say So

New Things Happening

First I would like to start with an Old New thing which is the beginning of the Presidential Campaigns. Yeah am a bit late on this but then it hadn't hit home till now. One of the events we had been advertising, was cancelled because the whole area is to be gazzetted for the President incumbent election campaigns. Then at lunch time while at work, tear gas shots start ringing in the air. Now my office is at the top of the building and we have some sort of open space between offices( ok if I try to explain the complexity of the structure I would take forever and you still wouldnt understand) Just know it was made for creatives. The open space is for reflection and inspiration as we view the city. So anyway the shots were so loud I knew they were happening on the street below the rest is history. So yeah it has now sunk in that the election madness is here.

My mom bought a New car. Yes, she finally got her Harrrier she wanted and now we have a car with private number plates to drive. We can be normal and not have people staring at us with the non private cars.

I got a Brilliant New idea today that will send me further than I thought I would go. The road I am taking had hit a roadblock and I was getting strained hitting dead ended routes round the road block. Finally, I decided to go back to the road, face the road block and figure out where there has to be a way through. I just have to figure it out. So I said my Night prayers and went to bed and early morning ...WHAM!!!! the perfect idea just sweetly floated through my brain and I almost missed it coz of my still sleepy state. Once my brain had grasped the idea, it churned and churned and then burned I had to let it out.

The road block melted and I now soldier proudly on. No matter how many road blocks come my way I am sure that there is no detour that will get me there but head on with the Block and smash it i will.

I have found a New passion and I am happy to get the feeling of life starting to flow again. There is that energy burst and life seems brighter when some thing new is in your life. New shoes, house, Guy or Gal and I have a New passion. TO MOVE FORWARD TO A BETTER FUTURE. Yeah am into Big things lately and the ends of the earth is the limit. I also have a Big God I love and worship, who is definately taking me places and providing for me opportunities that I believe are opening up at the right time. Am excited!!

Just Coz I Say So

Painful Sweet Surrender

I am the kind of person who would know what she wants now and how the next five years would be. If plan A didn't work (which happens all the time... ok mostly) i would quickly re-arrange the plan and still walk on... but at the end of the day i would always have a plan.

Right now am at a point in my life where i am not in control. i dont know what my next year is going to be like, i am not sure what my December is going to be like. You know the coolest thing is i am happier than ever!!

Yes! i have embraced this way of life of not knowing what tomorrow holds. its freeing and looking at it from a different angle has never been so painfully liberating.

This has not been easy that's for sure. i was in a state of crisis when the thought of letting my planned way of life Go. i thought " How unserious would i be? living life without purpose of where am going!!" "What will i say when I am asked "what you planning for your life?""

Then the peace i didn't know was there came and i decided "You know what Lord, my life is literally in your hands" And then that's when i did it...

I spread my hands wide, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, broke into a wide smile... and fell back. All cares to the wind. I know who got my back for sure. So here i go as I step into the world of the unknown, am not afraid of the dark and what treasures, mysteries, pleasures and shadows loom.

BRING IT ON YEAH!!!

Just Coz I Say So

Time Spent and Lost

To be honest I had actually forgotten about this blog until anet announced her new blog and then i remembered i had one. I then wondered what had happened to my plan to have a blog?

Cutting the long thought story short i am glad to announce that am back to the blogging family...yes yes thank you... you can stop the applause:)

Its so funny how time this year has been so fast! or may be its me who has been so busy. I recently graduated and looking at all my friends and all the parties we have been having(and still have) made me realize we who were once teens and students have now been baptized into the working class. If I didn't have a job (Volunteer, but still a job in a sense) i would be afraid.

So hear I am with the whole world at my feet. As usual my ideas will not wait to flow with endless answers to just the first question that comes to the tip of my head... "What Next?"

Well, that and more questions will be answered....

WATCH THIS SPACE

Just Coz I Say So